Have a Bad Day!

Believe it or not, today is National Have a Bad Day Day.

I ask you, WHO would do such a thing to YESvember?

Some dude in sales, apparently.

This “holiday” was developed to help break salesfolk out of the robotic and disingenuous “Have a nice day” we all know and love.

So, I guess it’s a great day… ehem, I mean BAD day… to break out of our routine as well.

I do realize that here at The Elbow, we are all about having super-duper fabulous days, so this one might be a challenge.

Fear not! I've found the perfect recipe so you can mix up your very own Bad Day — guaranteed!

1. Before you even get out of bed, spend at least an hour chewing on some childhood grievance. Trust me, nothing will start this day better than crying over the pony you never got or the fact that your dad did indeed like your brother better.

2. Now that you’re out of bed, take extra care to notice absolutely everything that s*cks. Whether it’s the weather, the state of the economy, your spare tire, or the fact that your back yard is still pony-free, get out the metaphorical magnifying glass and enjoy!

3. The mood is set, so you’re ready to think about ALL of those folks out there who lack spare tires while enjoying better weather and economies. Dang it, I’ll bet they have ponies, too. If you know any of them, be sure to get on your favorite social media site and tell them how much they stink.

4. Time to head to work — don’t forget to tailgate the entire way. Hey, that guy ahead of you should have a bad day, too. Besides, he probably has a pony... that he does NOT deserve.

5. While at work be sure to snap gum, whistle with reckless abandon, and tell folks how you really feel about their hair, breath, and fashion sense. Bonus round — spend all day on your favorite social media sites and perhaps you’ll even get fired! Wouldn't that make this the best darn bad day EVER?!

There you have it — the very best “Bad Day by Noon” recipe I know. Feel free to add your own spicy flavor to the mix like…

Taking 37 items to the “10 items or less” checkout stand,

inviting your boss out to lunch and “forgetting” your wallet, or

flirting with your best friend’s spouse.

Whew! I’m exhausted already.

Man, this bad day business is way too much work.

I think I’m going to have a super-duper fabulous bad-A day instead.

PROMPT: If you've ever had a bad day, or happen to be working on one right now, be sure to put it on the page. Who knows — you could end up with a best seller! After all, Alexander and the Terrible, Horrible, No Good, Very Bad Day written by Judith Viorst and illustrated by Ray Cruz has sold over 2 million copies, been made into a TV special, a musical, and is currently being turned into a movie by Disney. Now, that’s my kind of bad day!