Friday, January 4, 2013

Stand by for this Unimportant Update…

Banana slugs have 27 thousand teeth… on their tongues.

Meanwhile, crocodiles cannot stick out their tongues at all.

A dolphin sleeps with one eye open… because only half its brain sleeps at a time.

And speaking of brains – an ostrich brain is smaller than its eyeball. So don’t hold your breath waiting for ground-breaking theories from their camp.

By the way, ostriches do not stick their heads into the ground or sand or whatever… However, Flamingos can only eat if their heads are upside down.

Goat pupils are rectangles – trust me, they’re very creepy.

Hippos are so dang cool, they do not sweat. But they do secrete their own sunscreen

I wonder if it smells like coconuts.

Um, No.

But yes, yes, yes! You’ve probably guessed –

It’s National Trivia Day!

This has got to be one of my favorites –

The one day of the year I can yammer with abandon about all of the useless facts I’ve acquired as a writer for the children’s educational market…

What delicious and frivolous joy!

By the way, the next time your mom or wife complains about the birthing process –

let her know that kiwi birds lay eggs that are half their body weight….

Then duck.

PROMPT: When you need a story start – think trivia. How about a story about those beleaguered banana slug dentists? What if goats are really the aliens among us? How about dolphin-sleep as a super power? Goodness knows, I could have used that one in Macroeconomics class.

Thursday, January 3, 2013

The Resolve Dissolve

A New Year Poem

January 1: No desserts.
January 2: No desserts after 4 pm.
January 3: Doughnuts are NOT desserts.

PROMPT: Write about resolutions gone wrong… unless, of course, you’ve already given up writing.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Basket Case

So here I am, ready to start the New Year off with a whole heap of good writing…

when who pads in to play sandbar to this ship of progress?

Felis Domesticus –

AKA Goalis Suckerus.

Face it, cats would rather see you working the business end of a can opener than taking care of business… any business.

Obviously, this includes working on your 2013 dreams, plans, and goals.

You see, cats have never really gotten over the fact that we’ve moved on from those ancient Egyptian days of feline idolatry. They figure that every moment you spend working on something of yours means one less moment worshiping THEM.

And they’re not taking it lying down.

Um… actually they are –

On keyboards…

Important documents…

Fresh paintings.

Which brings me to today’s writing tip –

If you do not have a cat, DO NOT GET ONE.

Sure they are cute and cuddly, but that’s just a front…

Cats have hearts of stone when it comes to your evolution above and beyond can opener level.

You have been warned.

If you do have a cat, YOU must adjust.

Never expect a cat to adjust to anything involving decent sleeping or working hours.

Trust me, I’m pretty much an expert on this one –

I’ve had three obvious bouts of insanity resulting in three resident felines.

I’ve done a LOT of adjusting.

Which leads me to today’s tip for those who've already succumbed to cat madness –

Invest in a desk basket…

Keyboard is cat-free.
Barb –1 | Cat – 0
(Mwa Ha Ha!)

PROMPT: It’s a great day for a crazy cat lady story… or perhaps a documentary on the feline Facebook takeover – step one in their plan for world domination.

Tuesday, January 1, 2013

Happy New Year!

I’m wishing you all the BEST for your 2013 creative goals!

Today is a great day to dream your dreams…

Wish your wishes…

Plan your plans…

Then plan to be surprised!

The BEST things in life are happy accidents, after all.

PROMPT: Write down your 2013 aspirations! Sure, you may not intend to gaze upon them again… you may plan to stuff them in a drawer… or set them on fire… but WRITE THEM DOWN anyway. It’s all part of the Mind’s Elbow magic formula.

Yes, I still believe in magic.

What can I say – it’s part of my job description.

Oh – and I’d like to wish plenty of extra magic for all my peeps with a touch of Triskaidekaphobia… Because… um… it’d be a really good year to give that one up, don’t ya think? 


Monday, December 31, 2012

Taking Stock

No, not this kind of stock.
 Nor this.
 And definitely not this.

I'm talking about the kind of stock that’s inventory… as in, your creative inventory of 2012.

As we say goodbye to the old year, it’s a good time to reflect on all the awesomeness you’ve achieved.

What creative projects did you begin?

What did you finish?

What activities did you enjoy most?

What are you most proud of?

What did you learn?

Did you participate in NanoWriMo or PiBoIdMo?

And listen, Cupcake –

This is NOT the time of year to reflect on what you didn’t do, finish, or learn.

Toss those thoughts out with the trash.

It’s time to celebrate!

‘Cause you rocked that 2012.

That’s right.


PROMPT: Reflect and React… with a smile.